i dont want to think anymore!

another fb gem:

“My friends go to college, I go to war. At the same hour they wake up to decide not to go to class or call in sick to work, I've been at work for hours. Their alarms wake them up, my alarms send me to cover. They make plans based on how they feel, I do as the schedule that was put out to me demands. They can't wait to leave their homes, I can't wait to get back. But when we look back at our respective lives they will like theirs and I will be damn proud of mine... repost if you're active duty.”

interesting.

you know what we talked about today in class?

we talked about the politics involved with humanitarian efforts: if it was possible for non-government organizations to ever remain neutral, what defines an innocent and guilty person and how this affects their human rights, and how the ‘good’ accomplished by these human rights/humanitarian organizations are measured.

the thing is, very surprisingly im sure, is that there are no answers. people ultimately do what they decide is best for the greater good. and by saving some people, we lose others.
which lives are more important?

perhaps this can be understood by the old ‘shipwreck survivors are on a raft and one has to go or we all sink’ dilemma. ie: ‘its ok to kill people as long as we do in accordance with the geneva conventions lolz and omgz’.


i spend most of my time in school these days thinking about how war victims, refugees, displaced peoples and marginalized groups can be protected, helped, fed, sheltered, provided for- ‘saved’ even.. you know, from death and stuff.. all while keeping their dignity, agency, and space intact.

its interesting to think that some people just dont matter in the grand scheme of things. and dont you even dare try to deny it. some people will never have a blog or a book or a voice or a life. and the world will never know them unless they are championed by someone who is important.
but who is important?
if a territory becomes dangerous enough aid workers will leave.
are aid workers more important than victims of war?

i have never considered joining the military because i could never justify it to myself. tricare and free college would be lovely, but im way too philosophically invested in my life. and i mean that in the nicest way possible. with a smiley face.
i know that everyone is operating from a different perspective and motivation and while i may not believe that everything is ‘ok’. its a fact and its reality we all have to live with.

i havent ruled out the possibility that i could find myself in a conflict zone one day.. ‘working for hours and taking cover and missing home’. but i would like to think that it wouldnt be in the name of politics, nationalism, revenge, conquest, occupation or armed intervention.

i have, however, considered working with an aid organization because its ultimately something i could justify and believe in. not without critique, heartbreak, and much philosophical debates im sure. but its what ive come to.

i take what i do very seriously, because i know who i am, and by circumstances within and without of my control, i am in a position to be an influence. i have a blog and a book and a voice and a life. and im going to never stop doing what i feel is right.


this is something i am very proud of.

christian worldview

i wish i could send out sponsorship letters/dramatic pleas on facebook to fundraise for my masters program. oh wait- i'm not dedicating my life to God unless i go on an official evangelism venture of some kind, and therefore am void of charitable donations. bummer.

compassion

Look what i found on facebook today everyone!

- "If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 years hard labor. If you cross the Afghanistan border illegally, you get shot. If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get a job, a driver's license, food stamps, a place to live, health care, housing & child benefits, education, & tax free business for 7 years. No wonder we are a country in debt." Re-post if you agree -

Now doesn't that make sense, to compare the US to North Korea and Afghanistan? Makes complete sense to me!


Honestly, i just cant imagine wishing 12 years of hard labor and/or being shot to death on anyone. People act surprised that someone would want to move to the US and take advantage of whatever it is they came here for. I just have to tell myself over and over again that US citizens, and yes, even poor US citizens (gasp!) have absolutely no clue about what it means to live in "poverty" or "sickness" or all around "bad conditions". If they did, i don't think they would be so quick to judge those who will do whatever it takes to come to a country where they can escape that in some way, even if it means creating different problems for themselves and their families. Maybe it would be better than what they were dealing with before. Maybe it would be a lot better.

I would never advocate for someone to come to the US thinking is a magical land that can fix everyone's problems.
But i would implore and plead and beseech US citizens who live in a bubble of fear about your-precious-rights-being-compromised to just look around. The weird thing about human beings is that we're all human beings, and we probably have a lot more in common than not.

You can really make a positive difference in someone's life if you would stop being so selfish. Its a true story.

a puzzle

one of my favourite phrases to say, and i try to work it in as much as possible is that “we all make up the pieces in God’s big puzzle of life.” i feel very strongly that God has revealed something to each of us through our different lives and experiences.. thats why there is such a need for dialogue. and while were on the subject, not just dialogue about God and religion and sinners, oh my, but everything. everything we could ever experience. everyone has a different perspective. think about how much we could really learn if we would all just take the time to listen to each other?
now this is all very warm and fuzzy until you start thinking beyond the people you allow in your little bubble. what about that horrible kid that made fun of me in high school... or my evil ex... or members of Al Qaeda?! they do not fit in my puzzle of life. i dont want to associate with them, i would even stoop to calling them inhuman, broken, unfixable, retarded. not quite as evolved as me. this inevitably leads to me knowing everything, establishing certain criteria that people beneath me have in common, then gathering followers, promoting our rights, and finally executing mass genocide.

whew!

all puzzle pieces are different, i think we could agree on that. they are all cut differently. However, you always have those little rogue pieces. those pieces that get coke spilled on them and never again fit quite right into their respective place. or the pieces that get torn and forever leave a little hole. some even fall off the table and get lost under the couch. does this mean they should be discarded? always forgotten? always the grey areas? the ones we like to ignore and not include in our discussion of puzzles in general?

i wish everyone was bold enough to say how they really feel. there’s so much pressure to perform, to succeed, to survive. to conform. when i was born, i didnt realize life was such a contest or i might not have even bothered to grow up. by the time i realized it, it was unfortunately too late. i often wonder why no one else thought about these things. dont they see how fake society is? what is the point of all of this?
i assume now, that everyone does indeed think about these things. injustices, rules, regulations, power, law, money, love, success, God. what do these things mean to me? and why? and where have i learned what they meant? and from whom?
to question these things almost means to question your existence. and by existence i mean career, job, money, and family. in that order. to question the norm means to be disliked, to be challenged, to be discharged. people do not like when you mess with their comfort. and generally people want to be liked. i think often people want to be liked so much, that they suppress their questions; they ignore them; they forget about them; they accept the norm; they give in.

people arent stupid. they know theve been had. but they also know they have to play the system to succeed. i always like to tell myself this is something i never do, but i do it every day. i do it in class when i bs an essay because i know its what my professor wants to hear. i do it at work, when i suck up to my boss, hoping to get a raise for once. i do it at home, when i tell my family i voted for [aspecificpoliticalparty] so theyll get off my back. i do it in church, when i dont ask the question ive been dying to ask for years because i know people will judge me.

this is a place where i just want to say what i really feel. i want to write something and put it out there. this isnt a challenge to any specific group. its not a revolution.
its just me.
and meg. shes here too.
we are aware of human imperfection. we know life is a process. but we have a lot of things to say. and frankly, were tired of keeping quiet for our own sake, when there is so much more at stake.
so this is where we are. at this moment. we will never be the same. but we try not to regret anything. were intelligent, because we realize we will never know everything (but that doesnt mean we wont certainly try). and we move forward, because theres nowhere else to go.

just one piece in the puzzle..

Criticism, Christianity, & Blogging

--> My sister and I have been discussing the prospect of blogging together for a while now. We have a shared interest in cultural criticism… which is really just a pretentious way of saying that our studies frequently lead us into concerns, bewilderment, and/or snarky conversations in response to the world around us. We’re amateurs, at best. But we believe that the best way to improve your ideas is to put them “out there” for some criticism of their own, so here is a little introduction to this attempted blog…

Much of this is going to address Christian culture, because that’s what we grew up around (and because it’s freaking hilarious). We are not here to place value judgments on Christianity; that would be a waste of time. Rather, we want to discuss the way that Christian thought has been construed to reinforce social or cultural norms. For an example of how important this is, consider the use of “the Curse of Ham” doctrine from Genesis 9 to justify the enslavement of Africans in the United States during the 1800s. This frightening example illustrates how issues of race and class connect to and are informed by popular Christian thought. This blog will tackle some of those issues, as well as gender construction, cultural commodification… and you know, all those hipster-trendy-‘enlightened-individual’ topics. [riiiiiight]

On a personal note, we aren’t writing this blog to regurgitate a bunch of garbage we learned in theory class so that you can all see how lofty and educated we are. We think these issues are really important. I went to a Christian high school where my history lessons consisted of the idea that anyone who isn’t a white American protestant is evil and unequal. Besides being just silly, this idea is terribly dangerous (not to mention blatantly ethnocentric). I also had the privilege of doing some volunteer work in high school, which I loved very much, but I was disappointed to discover that many “missions” organizations have little or no cultural awareness. I believe that this connects to the way that Western hegemony has made its ugly way into the Christian discourse. We think these things and others like them need to be addressed. Finally, we stopped looking around, waiting for someone smarter and more eloquent to come along and do it, and decided to do it ourselves. Here goes…