i dont want to think anymore!

another fb gem:

“My friends go to college, I go to war. At the same hour they wake up to decide not to go to class or call in sick to work, I've been at work for hours. Their alarms wake them up, my alarms send me to cover. They make plans based on how they feel, I do as the schedule that was put out to me demands. They can't wait to leave their homes, I can't wait to get back. But when we look back at our respective lives they will like theirs and I will be damn proud of mine... repost if you're active duty.”

interesting.

you know what we talked about today in class?

we talked about the politics involved with humanitarian efforts: if it was possible for non-government organizations to ever remain neutral, what defines an innocent and guilty person and how this affects their human rights, and how the ‘good’ accomplished by these human rights/humanitarian organizations are measured.

the thing is, very surprisingly im sure, is that there are no answers. people ultimately do what they decide is best for the greater good. and by saving some people, we lose others.
which lives are more important?

perhaps this can be understood by the old ‘shipwreck survivors are on a raft and one has to go or we all sink’ dilemma. ie: ‘its ok to kill people as long as we do in accordance with the geneva conventions lolz and omgz’.


i spend most of my time in school these days thinking about how war victims, refugees, displaced peoples and marginalized groups can be protected, helped, fed, sheltered, provided for- ‘saved’ even.. you know, from death and stuff.. all while keeping their dignity, agency, and space intact.

its interesting to think that some people just dont matter in the grand scheme of things. and dont you even dare try to deny it. some people will never have a blog or a book or a voice or a life. and the world will never know them unless they are championed by someone who is important.
but who is important?
if a territory becomes dangerous enough aid workers will leave.
are aid workers more important than victims of war?

i have never considered joining the military because i could never justify it to myself. tricare and free college would be lovely, but im way too philosophically invested in my life. and i mean that in the nicest way possible. with a smiley face.
i know that everyone is operating from a different perspective and motivation and while i may not believe that everything is ‘ok’. its a fact and its reality we all have to live with.

i havent ruled out the possibility that i could find myself in a conflict zone one day.. ‘working for hours and taking cover and missing home’. but i would like to think that it wouldnt be in the name of politics, nationalism, revenge, conquest, occupation or armed intervention.

i have, however, considered working with an aid organization because its ultimately something i could justify and believe in. not without critique, heartbreak, and much philosophical debates im sure. but its what ive come to.

i take what i do very seriously, because i know who i am, and by circumstances within and without of my control, i am in a position to be an influence. i have a blog and a book and a voice and a life. and im going to never stop doing what i feel is right.


this is something i am very proud of.