a puzzle

one of my favourite phrases to say, and i try to work it in as much as possible is that “we all make up the pieces in God’s big puzzle of life.” i feel very strongly that God has revealed something to each of us through our different lives and experiences.. thats why there is such a need for dialogue. and while were on the subject, not just dialogue about God and religion and sinners, oh my, but everything. everything we could ever experience. everyone has a different perspective. think about how much we could really learn if we would all just take the time to listen to each other?
now this is all very warm and fuzzy until you start thinking beyond the people you allow in your little bubble. what about that horrible kid that made fun of me in high school... or my evil ex... or members of Al Qaeda?! they do not fit in my puzzle of life. i dont want to associate with them, i would even stoop to calling them inhuman, broken, unfixable, retarded. not quite as evolved as me. this inevitably leads to me knowing everything, establishing certain criteria that people beneath me have in common, then gathering followers, promoting our rights, and finally executing mass genocide.

whew!

all puzzle pieces are different, i think we could agree on that. they are all cut differently. However, you always have those little rogue pieces. those pieces that get coke spilled on them and never again fit quite right into their respective place. or the pieces that get torn and forever leave a little hole. some even fall off the table and get lost under the couch. does this mean they should be discarded? always forgotten? always the grey areas? the ones we like to ignore and not include in our discussion of puzzles in general?

i wish everyone was bold enough to say how they really feel. there’s so much pressure to perform, to succeed, to survive. to conform. when i was born, i didnt realize life was such a contest or i might not have even bothered to grow up. by the time i realized it, it was unfortunately too late. i often wonder why no one else thought about these things. dont they see how fake society is? what is the point of all of this?
i assume now, that everyone does indeed think about these things. injustices, rules, regulations, power, law, money, love, success, God. what do these things mean to me? and why? and where have i learned what they meant? and from whom?
to question these things almost means to question your existence. and by existence i mean career, job, money, and family. in that order. to question the norm means to be disliked, to be challenged, to be discharged. people do not like when you mess with their comfort. and generally people want to be liked. i think often people want to be liked so much, that they suppress their questions; they ignore them; they forget about them; they accept the norm; they give in.

people arent stupid. they know theve been had. but they also know they have to play the system to succeed. i always like to tell myself this is something i never do, but i do it every day. i do it in class when i bs an essay because i know its what my professor wants to hear. i do it at work, when i suck up to my boss, hoping to get a raise for once. i do it at home, when i tell my family i voted for [aspecificpoliticalparty] so theyll get off my back. i do it in church, when i dont ask the question ive been dying to ask for years because i know people will judge me.

this is a place where i just want to say what i really feel. i want to write something and put it out there. this isnt a challenge to any specific group. its not a revolution.
its just me.
and meg. shes here too.
we are aware of human imperfection. we know life is a process. but we have a lot of things to say. and frankly, were tired of keeping quiet for our own sake, when there is so much more at stake.
so this is where we are. at this moment. we will never be the same. but we try not to regret anything. were intelligent, because we realize we will never know everything (but that doesnt mean we wont certainly try). and we move forward, because theres nowhere else to go.

just one piece in the puzzle..